No Sex Tourism

I hopped into a cab with my directions written out in Thai for a vegetarian & vegan restaurant a friend suggested. The driver said it would take at least an hour to get there because of the traffic. He also wanted to add 50 Baht to the meter because, because, he did. I had heard that this time of night was not good for traffic so I had a second option. The Parong Night Market, he said this will only take 30 minutes and he’ll do it for a 25 Baht charge on top of the meter. Okay.

As we’re driving he begins offering me things. Sex is first. When I tell him no he tries to convince me that, yes I really do want it. “Freestyle in Bangkok, you want gay? Lady-boy? Lady? Ladies nice, so sexy.” No. I shake my head and laugh at him because it’s awkward and funny and feels sad to me that a taxi driver is trying to convince me to buy sex. He isn’t the slightest bit put off. “Gay is okay. Bangkok freestyle”, as I’m shaking my head no again he tells me he can get really good cocaine, ganja, and some other drug with a name I’ve never heard of that he thinks is amazing. He begins to show me how you use it. He mimics holding a spoon, pouring drugs on it and lighting below the spoon to cook up the drugs. “Crack?” I ask. He shakes his head yes. “So good, happy feeling. 1am done work, disco, I will do.” He is telling me that he smokes crack*. Really? Is he really telling me that? I suggest that he not smoke crack, I say it’s bad for him, that it’s bad for his body, and his heart. I know that’s a ridiculously naive thing to say but I can’t help it. He’s laughing, a little maniacally, and tells me that “Bangkok freestyle”.  He goes back to offering me sex. “2 ladies, one Singapore, one Chinese, SO sexy.” I resort to my Indian stand-by and begin to talk about my husband and yoga. “I tell him no drugs, no drinking, I am doing yoga. I am only for my husband, no sex.” He thinks this is hysterical. He says “so sorry” many times when offering me these things that I say no to. He’s doing his best to get me what I want while not offending me. Also, I’m pretty sure he’s high out of his mind. I have no fear though. He’s going to bring me where I’d like to go, he’s not driving wild, he doesn’t try to touch me, and he has been kind enough to give me the skinny. It isn’t his fault I don’t want it. He’s quite pleasant in his own way.

In the hostel where I stay there are signs everywhere saying “NO SEX TOURISM” unregistered guests are not allowed beyond the front lobby area, it’s a strict rule, which they enforce. In the massage shop where I got a Thai massage earlier today there are signs that say, “NO SEX”. 

But, if you walk down my road a bit towards the street venders you can easily identify sex for sale. It’s not a secret. There are dildos and vibrators on tables for sale next to Viagra and condoms. There are pimps sitting next to groups of women and men (dressed as women, rather convincingly) holding out pornographic pamphlets. There are tables with signs saying Valium (which I'm told is fake) and other drugs for sale next to displays of personal lubricants and sex paraphernalia.  There is a shop near the night market called Sweet Pussy. All over the city you see white men with Thai women. I’m sorry but no chance all these men are here with their Thai wives.

As I was eating my dinner on the sidewalk tonight an Australian man and a Thai woman came over and sat down. She ordered her food and we got talking. It turns out he met her in a bar and bought her for the night. He had to pay the barman to leave with her. 650 Baht, 21.66 USD. She had great English and yet, he couldn’t understand her. She asked him if he wanted some chicken noodle soup. He said no. She said you don’t like chicken noodle soup? Have you ever had it? He said no. I laughed and said, “Surely you’ve had chicken noodle soup before, haven’t you?” He said “Well, yes it’s just that I can’t understand her.”

Huh. I understood her just fine. 

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At the airport I had to go to the domestic cargo office to pick up train tickets I purchased online. As it turns out it was a not-so-simple task. I took 3 (wrong) shuttle buses and eventually ended up in what looked like the cargo area but, wasn’t.  A woman that rode the final bus with me saw me hauling around my big bag and felt bad for me. She called someone to find out where the cargo office was, hailed me a taxi, helped me get change, told the driver where I needed to go, wished me well and thanked me when I went on my way. Pleasant.

That’s the thing I’ve noticed about Thailand. People are just, pleasant. Even when you’re being a stupid tourist and forget your brain, (it happens a lot). They suggest other places you might try if they don’t have what you want. They will call a friend for directions for you. They will happily write down addresses in Thai. If they overhear you are stuck in some way, they will try to help you, nicely. When they are being bought for the night for 650 Baht they will take you to their favorite street stall for dinner and offer you a meal.

Nice.

I haven’t done anything touristy since I’ve been here. I don’t have the energy. I’ve just been relaxing, enjoying the fact that people are friendly, the food is good and fresh, and just generally decompressing from India. There are parts of Bangkok that are hard to look at for me. Of course there is poverty, the drugs and sex for sale everywhere is a lot, but generally I am ignored. I am nobody here. My white skin doesn’t mean that people stare at me, my bare shoulders are nothing compared to many of the half naked bodies that surround me, and my American accent doesn’t get me attention either. It’s not loud here or chaotic, there are no farm animals in the street, the dress is western, the food is mostly meat but it’s a really pleasant shift from India.

*he was talking about yaba--a popular amphetamine in Thailand