India Post :: 14 Steps

I had a package to send.  At home this is nothing, no big deal, you get a box put your stuff in, go to the post office, they weigh it and you pay. Done. 

In India this can be a 2 or 3 day errand. I will try to explain how that is possible. 

Step 1. Three days before I intend to post my box I ask for a small empty box from the grocery store across the street from my house. About 45 mins total waiting time. 

Step 2. I put my box back together and tape up the holes, rips and sides. 20 mins. 

Items are going into the box.  

The box is too big. 

I scramble to fill the box. 

The box is still too big. Total time with box as mailing receptacle. 1.5 days. 

Step 3. I find a discarded plastic bag from a pillow someone has recently purchased that seems to be just the right size. 

Step 4. I rearrange and pack items into said bag. 5 mins. 

Step 5. I tape up the entire bag, every inch is covered in clear packing tape. The contents are securely inside, arranged just so. 20 mins. 

Step 6. All of my house mates hold the bag and guess the weight. I think 10 lbs. They think about this weight too. We discuss my plan and try to decide if I should be honest about the contents of my bag. I talk about putting off this errand until Monday. Knowing how things work here they urge me to go today and wish me good luck. 5 mins. 

Step 7. I get a tuk-tuk downtown to the main post office. 25 mins. 50 Rupee agreed fare + 10 Rupee tip. 

Step 8. I go to the tailor directly across the street form the post office to have my box wrapped in cloth (required by India Post) for its journey west. This is a lengthy process of measuring, cutting, sewing, cutting, measuring, and sewing some more. I lost count when he measured, cut and sewed 7 times. Once the cloth bag fits around the plastic bag he hand stitches the edges and sides. Then he seals the seams with a special post office seal and red wax. 2 hours. 120 Rupees charge. No change, 150 Rupees paid. 

During my time waiting and watching the tailor wrap my box we chat, a lot. We have chai and biscuits. I meet his girlfriend--scandalous stuff, not just that he has a girlfriend but even more scandalous is that she is Christian and he is Hindu--we discuss the western vs the eastern ways of life. His girlfriend doesn't stay long but she is here with me long enough to ask me LOTS of questions about my religion, my family religion, my "husband" and then some more questions about what churches do I know in America. (None really, which she is less than impressed with.) She lied to me about their relationship. She told me they were "friends only". I knew that was not the case, it was very obvious they loved each other. When she left he blurted out quickly and without shame, "my girlfriend". I laughed and asked him why she would lie to me of all people, a westerner that is accustomed to things being this way. No answer, just a smile and the Indian head bob.
From our conversation I know his age, (34) how his family feels about him dating a Christian (not happy) I know what his girlfriends age is (35). I know he loves her and he wants to marry her but he doesn't know if this is possible. It makes him sad. His eyes well up with tears telling me the story of why a marriage is not possible (his mother and sisters do not approve, his father is dead many years). He tells me her family loves him and would welcome him with open arms but to marry this woman he loves means being disowned by his immediate family. He wishes he was from the west, he thinks his life would be easier if he had choices. I tell him I know a married couple in India that is mixed religion, Hindu and Christen, I say it is possible. I can tell he likes to talk to me because he knows I am not judging him for having a girlfriend. 

Step 9. I walk across the street to the post office, pretty excited that I have all my ducks in a row. I present my sealed bag wrapped in cloth. Wrong counter. "Next counter Madam." I proudly present my sealed bag wrapped in cloth again, at the correct counter, #6. Waiting, Waiting, Waiting. I ask for the forms to fill out. "No forms. First Madam put it your address TO: and FROM:" (This is already written on my package. He wants me to write it again. Everything in duplicate in India.) I leave the counter and rewrite my fake Indian address and my sister’s address. Back to the counter. "Okay Madam. But, first you must put your email address." I write my email address on the package. 2 identical forms are given. I fill out the forms being mostly honest about the contents of the box. My tailor friend says coconut oil is okay and my CD's are okay too so I list these items and clothes as the contents of my package. I present my 2 identical forms, my sealed bag wrapped in cloth with my TO: and FROM addresses written on it twice and my email address written on it now too. "No Madam forms must be stuck to the side of package. Gum is there" he says while pointing. I walk into the lobby and use the gum (glue) to adhere my two forms to the package. Back to counter 6. My box is weighed. 4.1 kg. more gum is added to the forms. I am told to write some sort of code on the package. 3 people have taken an interest in my package (USA! Madam”) and are translating the postal worker's English to me. My forms are inspected. "No Madam. Coconut oil cannot be sent." Yes sir, I say. Coconut oil is okay it is in plastic bottle. "No Madam CD's cannot be sent. We must open the package and take them out." Ha! There is no way I am opening this package to take out the coconut oil and CD's. 

I take my bag and leave the post office. 25 mins. 

Step 10. I walk around the area looking for a tailor shop that I know will ship packages for westerners for a small fee. I call one of my house mates and ask where the tailor is. Directions are jumbled and confusing. It's clear I need to start from a more familiar place. 10 mins

Step 11. I take a tuk-tuk to a familiar place. 3 mins. 20 Rupees 

Step 12. Many people are noticing that I do not know where I am going and stop to help. They wrongly assume I want the post office and point me back towards where I have come from. One pleasant man on a scooter stops in the middle of the street and directs me towards the post office. I try my luck and say to him in my very quick American English that I am looking for a tailor's shop. He knows the place and tells me I am almost there. I am a little shocked at his firm understanding of my accent and question, thank him and carry on delighted. India is this way. Just when you are too hot, frustrated, hungry and ready to quit good help is there. I am stopped by a German man wanting to know where the post office is. (this package is quite the attention getter). We chat for a bit and he tells me to lie on my form about the contents, "they will not take it apart, they will not scan it" he says. 

Several other people on the street stop me to talk about where I am going and to tell me where the post office is. 

Finally, I arrive at the tailor. 15 mins. 

Step 13. At the tailor we fill out the same forms only this time I do not mention the coconut oil or the CD's. He will ship my box for 100 Rps charge plus the freight cost. We list my contents as 3 shirts, 2 pants, 2 plastic boxes. After we have filled the forms in duplicate he begins a long discussion with me about how Indian women are bold now and do not listen to their husbands. He tells me times are different in India and that women no longer want to serve their husbands, as they should. I am diplomatic and very polite (I don't want to piss off my shipper!) but I explain that many years have passed when Indian men have been bold and have not listened to or served their wives, as they should. I say, the pendulum is swinging another way now but it will swing back and land in the middle. He seems to be okay with this assessment from a western woman. Which does not mean that he agrees with me, of course. 

20 mins.1,415 Rps for shipping charges. 100 Rps handling fee. 

Step 14. I take a tuk-tuk home. 20 mins. 50 Rupees agreed fare. 15 Rupee tip. 

Actual contents of box; 8 colored marker-type pens (German made and awesome!), 15 glass bracelets --put inside 2 separate Tupperware containers to protect them in transit, 2 boxes of incense, 2 CD's, 2 pouches (100 grams each) of masala spice, 1 bottle of date syrup, 1 bottle of coconut oil, 3 pair of pants, 5 shirts, 1 towel, 1 unopened mascara tube, and 1 hair brush.